How Singing In A Bar For 9 People Activated a Global Movement for Anyone to Reclaim Their Lost Dreams…

Back in the 90s, it’s fair to say I was paralyzed with fear, anxiety and overwhelm.

And to put it bluntly, I was hiding out from life.

I was living in a tiny attic apartment in Chicago with my tiny rescued Yorkie, Martina.

And except to go outside and walk her, or go to therapy or the grocery store, or to go to my job as a waitress at the local diner, I was afraid to even leave my apartment.

My reasons to stay so hidden and afraid were pretty understandable-

I was in the middle of treatment for anxiety and PTSD and I was having flashbacks just like those returning military Vet’s stories that you’ve heard about.

I had been raised in a family that was so violent and “colorful” we could have been featured on reality TV: Mentally ill parents, secret life of severe abuse, etc.

And back then my number one priority was just to heal from that crazy-intense family stuff.

But even as I tried to ignore it, I also had a strong spark of a dream inside that just wouldn’t leave me alone.

It kept nagging at me no matter how many times I tried to squash it, dismiss it, or put it off until “later.”

The truth was, I secretly longed to sing in public again, and in particular, sing at a local bar/restaurant that had an open mic night every Friday at 9.

Even though I was filled with shame both about the state of my emotions and the size of my body (at 5’3” I weighed 213 and only wore muumuu’s,) I desperately longed to get over myself and somehow share the music inside me that wanted to Come OUT.

So I planned, and planned and planned some more to get to that open mic night.

Every week I would fantasize about how great it was going to be when I finally got up the nerve to sing for the audience that Friday.

But when Friday afternoon actually rolled around, my fear would reappear again like fast rising floodwater.

Just as the sun would set (which is pretty early in the Chicago winter time) I’d feel myself start to crash inside as more and more dread and panic would fill up my body.

And no matter how much I hated it, and how much I fought myself, the shame, fear and overwhelm would win every time, and by 8pm I would just give up and drown my sorrows in the “box-o-wine” from my fridge, or shove my face into a bowl of ice cream.

Then the next morning, sure as the sunrise, I would wake up disgusted with my failure and be certain that THIS WEEK would be different!!

But the pattern just kept repeating itself:

Week after week I would ride the roller coaster from hope to determination to certainty to being surprised by the inevitable crashing, to the shame, the giving up, and then waking on Saturday again to start it all over again.

This crazy cycle literally happened repeatedly for months until I finally came up with a new system to try…

Back in the 90s, it’s fair to say I was paralyzed with fear, anxiety and overwhelm.

And to put it bluntly, I was hiding out from life.

I was living in a tiny attic apartment in Chicago with my tiny rescued Yorkie, Martina.

And except to go outside and walk her, or go to therapy or the grocery store, or to go to my job as a waitress at the local diner, I was afraid to even leave my apartment.

My reasons to stay so hidden and afraid were pretty understandable-

I was in the middle of treatment for anxiety and PTSD and I was having flashbacks just like those returning military Vet’s stories that you’ve heard about.

I had been raised in a family that was so violent and “colorful” we could have been featured on reality TV: Mentally ill parents, secret life of severe abuse, etc.

And back then my number one priority was just to heal from that crazy-intense family stuff.

But even as I tried to ignore it, I also had a strong spark of a dream inside that just wouldn’t leave me alone.

It kept nagging at me no matter how many times I tried to squash it, dismiss it, or put it off until “later.”

The truth was, I secretly longed to sing in public again, and in particular, sing at a local bar/restaurant that had an open mic night every Friday at 9.

Even though I was filled with shame both about the state of my emotions and the size of my body (at 5’3” I weighed 213 and only wore muumuu’s,) I desperately longed to get over myself and somehow share the music inside me that wanted to Come OUT.

So I planned, and planned and planned some more to get to that open mic night.

Every week I would fantasize about how great it was going to be when I finally got up the nerve to sing for the audience that Friday.

But when Friday afternoon actually rolled around, my fear would reappear again like fast rising floodwater.

Just as the sun would set (which is pretty early in the Chicago winter time) I’d feel myself start to crash inside as more and more dread and panic would fill up my body.

And no matter how much I hated it, and how much I fought myself, the shame, fear and overwhelm would win every time, and by 8pm I would just give up and drown my sorrows in the “box-o-wine” from my fridge, or shove my face into a bowl of ice cream.

Then the next morning, sure as the sunrise, I would wake up disgusted with my failure and be certain that THIS WEEK would be different!!

But the pattern just kept repeating itself:

Week after week I would ride the roller coaster from hope to determination to certainty to being surprised by the inevitable crashing, to the shame, the giving up, and then waking on Saturday again to start it all over again.

This crazy cycle literally happened repeatedly for months until I finally came up with a new system to try…

Wendy started on this journey because she grew up in an extremely chaotic household where abuse and ridicule happened every day. She never felt safe growing up, and her nervous system and neural net were initially conditioned to have a hair-trigger anxiety response to even the most mundane stimuli.

She suffered from panic attacks and feelings of being “less than” for years and she also developed an overwhelming fear that being visible was dangerous. And even though Wendy was an athlete in college and trained as a professional dancer and singer, she still suffered from paralyzing stage fright.

In spite of all that (or perhaps because of all that) Wendy became very curious about the mental and emotional states that were getting in her way. Determined to make a difference for herself and others, she went on a 25+ year quest to study brain chemistry, psychology, neuroscience, and various coaching methods to find a solution to those problems, and discover what would allow her, and others like her, to thrive.

After sifting through more psychological and behavioral models than you can count, Wendy was able to “cherry pick” from among the tools that really worked for her, and put them together in a new and unusual way.

Eventually, Wendy not only overcame her own anxiety, she trained to become a Professional Performance Coach that has helped thousands of other clients worldwide get unstuck as well.

Wendy has worked with a wide variety of populations in her 17-year career as a Professional Performance Coach.  These include:

• 300 + Singers in Chicago for stage fright and performance anxiety
• Both Pro and Amateur Golfers on their Mental Game (One pro broke a 35-year record in the 2004 PGA!)
• Sales Professionals on Call Reluctance
• Over 3k Small and Home-based Business Owners on maximizing their Productivity & Bottom Line
• And many more…

One proprietary program that she created is “The Procrastination Cure: A Complete System that Compels You to Follow Through.”

The Procrastination Cure is a downloadable system of simple tools that allow anyone to move beyond anxiety, overwhelm and just generally ‘being stuck’ in life, to taking easy, productive action toward long-held dreams and goals.

Another area of Wendy’s expertise uses cutting-edge Neuroscience to work with Golfers, other Athletes, and Leaders of all types. Her “Your Best Mental Golf” and “Best Mental Game” live coaching programs allow both golfers and leaders to optimize and utilize their best mental game in life, sports and business.

An inspiring and powerful speaker, Wendy delivers workshops and trainings that are innovative, uplifting and that change what’s possible for people everywhere.

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Wendy remembers being about 4 years old when her mother yelled, “Selfish is your middle name, lazy is your middle name,” etc., and Wendy thought, “No, JOY is my middle name, and you can’t beat it out of me!” Later, in adulthood, she changed her name to Wendy Joy Hart to claim her own identity and affirm her belief that joy, a belief in one’s self, and a commitment to contribution can win over any adversity.

Wendy Hart was trained at the prestigious Coaches Training Institute. She is a Practitioner of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and TPM (Thought Pattern Management,) IFS (Internal Family Systems Model of Psychotherapy) the Sedona Method, Emotional Freedom Technique, David Grove’s ‘Clean Language,’ and much more.

A member of the International Coaching Federation and the International Association of Coaches, Wendy is also a former Board Member of the National Speakers Association, Northern CA Chapter.

In addition to Coaching and Speaking, she still sings, performing Inspirational Pop Music at selected conferences and her own live events, as well as occasionally sitting in at a jazz club or two. After living many years in Chicago, Wendy finally escaped the snow, and she now calls San Diego home.